Introduction
Over the past few years, I’ve been examining what it means to love and why we are attracted to our mates. After exhaustive research and case studies of my past failed relationships, I have developed a theory I call “The Shit Theory” to explain why we love who we do, and why relationships have failed.

The Shit Theory explains that we love based on our partner’s ability to put up with our “Shit”, “Shit” being our emotional baggage, nuances, and other issues people perceive as negative attributes. The Shit Theory attempts to explain why some relationships are successful while others fail. This is not to be taken as a sole reason to love someone, but should play a major part in the decision making process.

Love is an emotion
Love is an emotion, just like anger, jealousy, hate, sadness, and happiness. All these emotions work on triggers. For example, if a joke is told, it triggers one’s sense of humor and thus happiness is generated and expressed with laughter. All emotions have triggers, and all emotions rely on these triggers to generate the feelings that the emotions provide.

We all have Shit
We all have Shit in our lives. No one escapes this Shit. Your Shit is different from mine, but it’s still Shit. Your Shit could be emotional baggage from past relationships. Your Shit could be related to issues dealing with intimacy or commitment. Your Shit could be that you are a slob, or you are a neat freak. Your Shit could be you have trust issues. It is all Shit, and both you and your partner have to deal with it.

It is nearly impossible to define love without Shit
Defining love is the object of this essay. Saying “she makes me laugh”, “he makes me happy”, or “I enjoy her personality” is a triggered emotion, remember? The emotion “love” is based on Shit, anyone who tells you different is selling something.

Think about it, why do you love your partner? Is it because of the typical cop-out answers described earlier in this section, or is it because s/he puts up with your Shit?

We all wear masks to hide our Shit
The key to a lasting relationship is to find someone who will put up with your Shit. At the same time, you must be willing to put up with their Shit. The problem is we tend to hide our Shit until we feel comfortable with our partners, so finding compatible Shit is difficult, if not impossible until it’s too late. Properly communicating your Shit early in the relationship is essential to insure the stability and future of the relationship. If you can not communicate your Shit effectively, don’t enter into a relationship until you can. It will save you and your partner a lot of pain in the long run.

Physical Attraction and The Shit Theory
Physical attraction plays a large part of why people begin contemplating relationships, but physical attraction, personality, intelligence, and other “consolation prizes” most people make a priority should not play a major part in a relationship. The ability of your partner to handle your Shit should be a priority. Everything else is and should be gravy.

The key to a successful relationship is finding compatible Shit
I have had many relationships. I have put up with massive amounts of Shit, encompassing nearly every type of Shit imaginable. Some Shit I could handle, while some Shit I simply could not tolerate. Most relationships start out fine, but eventually fail as the Shit starts piling on. Find someone who can deal with your Shit and you will have a lasting relationship.