~God smites SUV with sheet metal from the sky.
~Veggies rot your teeth.
~Ozone layer showing signs of recovery. Global warming indeed.
~Man faces felony battery charges for pushing through emergency workers attending to his critically injured daughter.
~Michael, your reserve bid is entirely too low.
~BBC tacklies the tough questions: is having sex at work illegal?
~Asshat RIAA now says it's ok to exercise your legally protected rights to listen to music you purchased. How kind of them.
~12 species of flies get federal protection, making it illegal to kill them. You know where this is going, right?
~Al Qaeda knows they r teh sux0r at combat, vows to play more Counterstrike. Oh, and they also know they hoodwinked the American Media.
~Eating broccoli can stop you from getting teh herps.
~Wow. 61 years later, British war debt to the US is almost paid off.
~O'RLY? YA RLY...
~Woot! Bellsouth might be liable for turning over phone records to NSA. Gimme my $1k, chumps.
~Lawyers file suit to challenge new bankruptcy laws.
~Muslims outraged by the blasphemus depiction of Jesus Christ in The Da Vinci Code. Wait. What?!
~Walmart, Target accused of using carbon monoxide to enhance color of meat.
~Congress may require ISPs to snoop on you. Fourth amendment?! WHAT Fourth Amendment!
~Guy gets operation on hemorrhoids. farts during procedure, singes himself.
~The RIAA mistakes XM Radio for people who don't own computers, students, single moms.
~Jack the Ripper might have been Jill the Ripper.
~Ok, this Harry Potter crap has gone too far now.
~Let this be a lesson to you all: God will smite your weave if you read the bible.
~If you're running MS-Word, you've got security issues. Microsoft suggests running the program in safe mode, rather than actually addressing the issue.
~1/3 of drivers want to trade in their penis mobiles for fuel-efficient cars.
~Dracula's castle to be handed back to ancestrial famlily.
~Cool optical illusion.
~Ninja attack!
~mm...a-la carte tv..
~Oops.
~The asshats over at the RIAA feel pretty good about suing grandmothers and 12 year olds.
~Cool your PC with cooking oil.
~Captain Obvious says: "Software companies lie about their piracy loss figures".
~Captain Obvious says: "Half the tech returns to stores are a end user problem, not a broken device".
~Captain Obvious says: "If you're going to charge $5,000 worth of titjob to your boss' credit card, don't be surprised if they fire you".
~Captain Obvious says: "female names get more attention in chat rooms".
~Captain Obvious says: "Gas boycotts don't work, dumbass".
~Martha Stewart Plans own version of myspace.
~Apparently, people are now just catching on that Wisteria Lane needs a corner sammich shop.
~Milla Jovovich wants to have kids. I can help her with that...
~John Travolta apparently turning into Tom Cruise.
~Oops, she's pregnant again.
~George Lucas FINALLY authorizes the release of the original unauthorized Star Wars trilogy.
~Rachel Weisz claims her facial hair would make her look like a monkey if she didn't get rid of it. I'd still hit it.
~Tommy Chong no longer smokes pot (site might not be safe for work). Yeah. Right.