~Some poor guy's severed burrito found in 7-11 microwave.
~IRS not sharing audit statistics...in violation of 1976 court order...oops.
~World of Warcraft population officially surpasses the population of Denmark.
~Kid gets 4 days in juvie hall for administering an unsolicited purple nurple.
~Beer fights chronic heart disease, lets ugly people get laid.
~100 year old finally retires. After 76 years at the same job.
~Would you buy sushi from Wal*Mart? Me neither.
~Teh world is gunna end! Cats and dogs living together! Microsoft supporting Linux!
~Asshat RIAA suggests kids drop out of college to pay for piracy settlements.
~NEWSFLASH! Wearing all black is satanic!
~Amazon.com tries to patent way to pay taxes online.
~Wow. and I thought my $50 phone bill was bad.
~EPCOT's Mission Space ride claims second victim.
~Man beats his girlfriend with a microwave for not heating up his sammich.
~24 ways to spend $500, doesn't include "giving it to me".
~AOL caught red handed censoring member mail.
~The missing art of chilvary.
~A brief history of Easter candy.
~OMG! Dubya is a music pirate!
~Stupid user tricks, or why my job is a living hell.
~Religion..in...SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCEEEEE
~ZOMG FREE STUFF!
~Congress, after having their pockets lined by big business, readies new copyright bill that fucks each and every one of us.
~Judge rules you can't be fired for surfing teh intarweb.
~AOL demands consent from the dead to cancel.
~Because 18 bazillion dollars a year isn't enough, Microsoft to beam piracy notices directly to your desktop.
~Asshat RIAA sues a family for downloading music. Except this family doesn't own a computer.
~Game to movie adaptations that should be made.
~National Day of Slayer is coming! Be ready!
~Seagate to unveil 750gig drives. No word if they'll come preloaded with pr0n and MP3s to save consumers time.
~The world's last fighting ninja still going strong. The pirates haven't won yet!
~Good news! The Goth Flasher has been captured! And by "goth" we mean "pale and goth looking".
~...because everyone should see a Hooters Girl cat fight at least once in their life (might not be entirely safe for work)...
~Captain Obvious says, "Goth kids more likely to cut themselves, commit suicide".
~Captain Obvious says, "People are idiots".
~Captain Obvious says, "Brokeback Mountain will not be a big hit in the middle east".
~Sweet! Sci-fi planning a Battlestar Galactica prequel series!
~Lucas taking a few more swipes at the dead horse.
~Legendary test pilot Scott Crossfield is dead.
~Einstein hated marriage, socks, and 8 other things.
~June Pointer of the Pointer Sisters has died
~Whackjob Jack Chick turns 82.
~WTF is happening to Saturday Morning cartoons?! Paris Hilton to star in one.
~MC Hammer has a blog. YA RLY.
~Darren McGavin, the guy who played the father in A Christmas Story is dead.
~Shatner's afraid of failing Citizenship test, tribbles, Star Trek fanboys.